It's about all around yourself.

Q: Who had a double role in movie 'Sholay'?

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A: King George

He is on both sides of the coin ;)

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Q.What would an angrez[american/british] say to his indian naukar [servant] who can only understand hindi if he wants him 2 open the door!!

A."There Was A Cold Day " - (say it fast)!

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Q. What do u call a cylinder of radius "z" units and height "a" units?

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Pizza!

Volume of cylinder= Pi * r * r * h

=>pi*z*z* a

=Pizza

Hence Proved.

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Q. What do you call the most religious unit in electric science?

-Ohm

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Q. Why does not Santa wake up early.. i.e. when the day dawns.. or sun rises.. but

instead get up when the sun is already shining bright...

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Because he has realised the fact that.. "dawn ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin.. na mumkin hain.."

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Q.A dentist was examining a patient having a highly contagious deadly

disease….As soon he opens the patients mouth the disease gets transferred to the

doctor… how??

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…Because the patient had a BLUE-TOOTH !!

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Q. Why are Indian husbands known as "SILVER"?

Why are American husbands known as "GOLD"?

Indian wives call their husband "A g" ( Scientific Symbol for Silver)

American wives call their husband "A u" ( Scientific Symbol for Gold )

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Q. What song does a small kid sing when he enters Class 1 ??

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K.G kiya re ... K.G kiya re !

K.G kiya re ... O K.G ... K.G kiya re !

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Q.What is the height of mixed emotions???

Your mother-in-law falling from 7th floor on your mercedes!!!!

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Q. eight of Optimism...

Soldier: "Sir, we are surrounded by the enemies."

SARDAR Major: "Excellent ! We can now attack in any direction" !

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Q. What is the Center of Gravity?

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V

"gra V ity"

Q. How do you fix a broken tomato?

With tomato paste!

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Q. Once upon a time in a jungle there was a lioness. But She was unhappy with her life because she was very ugly.

Koi bhi lion usko ghaas nahi daalta tha.But the lioness had one speciality..She was very good at hunting..

One of the best hunters in the jungle..One day while hunting, the lioness caught hold of an old rabbit.

As soon as she was about to kill the rabbit the rabbit pleaded her to spare his life and in return he promised to

give the lioness anything she wanted.The lioness gave it a thought and then she finally agreed.

She told the rabbit that if he can tell her a way by which she can become a beauty queen, she will spare his life.

On hearing this the old wise rabbit pointed towards a nearby hill.On top of it was a large rock.

The view from the rock was magnificent.The rabbit told the lioness to go and sit on top of the rock and all

her problems will be solved..The lioness thought the rabbit was bluffing her.So she took the rabbit along with

her to the rock and gave it a try...And to her surprise It worked!!..Suddenly all the lions were noticing her and

she received many proposals for date.She thanked the rabbit for her favour and the rabbit breathed a sigh of

relief and hopped away safely to his house..

Now the question is...How did the rabbit solve the problem for the lioness?

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Ans. When the lioness sat on the rock she became SherOn Stone......................(kyu hua chacha samaj nahi aaya)

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A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food

shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure…..

In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.

In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant.

In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.

In China they didn't know what' opinion' meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant.

In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant.

and in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!!!

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Gabbar: Are o Sambha

Sambha: Ji Sardar

Gabbar: Kitne Admi the re?

Sambha: Do Sardar

Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?

Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad ata hai.

Gabbar: Aur Do ke pehle?

Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai

Gabbar: To bich mein kaun aata hai?

Sambha: Bich mein koi nahi aata

Gabbar: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?

Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.

Gabbar: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?

Sambha: Do ek se Ek bada hai.

Gabbar: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?

Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mardo !!!

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SANTA ANSWER MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY

Have you heard of Mr. Santa Singh applying to a medical school to become a doctor?

Needless to say he never made it. You know why?

These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.

Antibody - against everyone

Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.

Caesarean section - a district in Rome

Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.

Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.

Chronic - neck of a crow.

Coma - punctuation mark.

Cortisone - area around local court.

Cyst - short for sister.

Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.

Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.

Dislocation - in this place.

Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.

Enema - not a friend.

Fake labour - pretending to work.

Genes - blue denim.

Hernia - she is close by.

Impotent - distinguished/well known.

Labour pain - hurt at work.

Lactose - people without toes.

Lymph - walk unsteadily.

Microbes - small dressing gown.

Obesity - city of Obe

Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.

Proteins - in favor of teens.

Pulse - grain.

Pus - small cat.

Red blood count - Dracula.

Secretion - hiding anything.

Tablet - small table.

Ultrasound - radical noise.

It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home!

Let's Thank... KAAMWALI BAI

* Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U!

Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.

* Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?

Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.

Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.

* Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?

A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal

* Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA

Phir likha: SHUBH LABH

Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME

Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN

* Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile,

mujhse bhi achche yaar mile,

meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile

* It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam.

Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

* Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya . 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha

Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

* Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n very clear

* What do u call a woman in heaven?

An Angel

A crowd of woman in heaven?

A host of Angels

And all woman in heaven?

PEACE ON EARTH

Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?

Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai.

Thank You Everybody......................:) for your patience and reading till THE END…J J